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  • Jase Goes Hungry, And I Join The Twits

    Jun 5th 2011

    By: Blazing

    4 comments

    Sunday mornings. Don’t you just love them?

    A leisurely check of the mornings emails, news, and tweets (more of that in a minute) sets me up for a gentle drive across town to the outlet village that hosts the Farmers Market on Sundays. I get there shortly before one, check out a huge pan of paella on the go at one stall, and the ‘your breed of pig’, bacon and sausage grill at another. I will have a difficult decision to make about my brunch on the way out.

    A pair of Clarks later I surface and the rain, not due until four, has already arrived. The damper has been put on my plans and my taste-buds start to weep in frustration, but al fresco dining, in a downpour, in a tee and shorts is not really wise for one suffering from manflu. I drive home via the sign of the golden arches.

    People watchers of the world should spend half an hour of a Sunday lunchtime in their local Macdonalds, and see how the next generation is being brought up. It is a real eye-opener. I get a chicken salad something and take a pew.

    “Eat your lunch, Jase, or there will be no ice cream”

    I feel for Jase, destined for whatever replaces the asbos of the future. As his young Mum chats idly to her mate, the poor little sod is looking at the remains of a now cold, half-chewed, burger (you know, the cheap one off the value menu with a tired bit of lettuce and a salty sweet dollop of relish to make it taste of something).

    Looking around there are Mums and kids, but no Dads it seems? The reasons for that may be manifold and so perhaps I’m not about to get judgemental on that score. The only males in the place are packs of three or four marauding fifteen year olds. They will come to appreciate the value of nutrition soon enough, but they have a phase to go through. I recall spending the odd hour in Wimpy myself, many moons ago with a toasted bun and a mug of coffee.

    In the time it takes me to digest the edible parts of my snack Jase steadfastly refuses to take any more of the muck in front of him. As I get up to leave he all but begs his Mum for the ice-cream that will wash away the taste of his main course. He should have known better.

    “Can’t you see I’m talking? Now eat your burger.”

    I’m A Bit Of A Twit

    But then you knew that already, didn’t you? Seriously, have you not yet had a mooch around Twitter? I have steadfastly avoided going near the place over the years after seeing the sort of stuff that went on at Facebook, and MySpace, and all those other tedious places where the world befriends each other and tries to lure you into chat and some form or another of virtual role-playing.

    I’m only a bit of a lurker at the moment on Twitter, which is just fine by me. I don’t really want to be embraced by a score of strange folk attempting to fill me in on the minutiae of their existence in a hundred and forty characters, but that restriction means you can pop into the place, pick a few favourite people to ‘follow’, and then dip in and out from time to time just catching up on the sheer randomness of it all.

    Without it I could not have learned that three hours ago Chris Evans was drinking a cup of tea on the gym floor. I would have been ignorant of the fact that Dara O’Briain was listening to John Cage on his iPod last night, or that my mate Treacle was yesterday imploring us all to “stop talking about ****ing football and say something depraved, please and thank you.” If you decide to join us feel free to view my nonsense @blazing_saddle. The link is in the sidebar.

    So apart from turning into a ‘Meldrew’, according to Mrs Blazing, I am also a committed (for now) twit. It’s official. I’m not about to tell her that we prefer the term ‘tweeter’. Secretly I quite enjoy being thought of as turning into a curmudgeon.

    I wonder how poor Jase got on with his ice-cream?

     

    Uncategorized

    food, kids, stereotypes, Twitter

  • Mugged, But I Have No Beef With Bob, Or Rather I Do!

    May 25th 2011

    By: Blazing

    6 comments

    It is a very long time indeed since Mrs Blazing and I have dared attempt to digest supermarket beef on a Sunday. A rare free Saturday gives me the chance to fulfill a promise to a friend to try the ‘very good butcher’ in a nearby village. We arrive at said butcher about half past one, which sadly is some thirty minutes after he has closed for the day.

    “Chicken from Sainsbury then”, sighs Mrs B. I won’t have it. The new Blazing mobile needs a run. “We’ll go to the market town, it’s only a dozen miles or so, and I’m sure I remember a butcher on the main road there.” By two we have arrived outside the shop I indeed remember from a handful of drives through that town.

    We introduce ourselves to Bob the butcher. “We will be guided by you Bob. A nice piece of beef for Sunday lunch. What do you recommend?” Bob moves in for the kill with the stealth and general skill of the luxury car salesman.

    “The sirloin is absolutely the tastiest joint if you slow roast it. We have this lovely piece of well hung Aberdeen Angus. Now, now, madam, you know what I meant.” Smiles are on faces and he strikes with the stealth of a cobra. “How big a piece?” We point at each other. “Enough for us”. With a swift slice of an extremely sharp large knife he has the piece he says will be required. “Just right for two. As it’s late you can have it for thirteen fifty.”

    I notice the management preparing to make her apologies and I quickly step in with a twenty from my wallet. Beef is what I want. Beef is what I shall have, and we don’t have to come back, do we? Back in the car I have to smile inwardly and admire Bob’s style. Twenty-four hours later, I am admiring his business. We may have paid handsomely for the privilege, but this carefully slow-roasted bit of Aberdeen Angus is the most succulent piece of meat I have eaten in many a long day.

    Just as well really, because clearly we have enough left for a very large plate of sandwiches on Monday night with some tasty mustard.

    We have another free weekend coming up. Guess where we are going on Saturday. Bob, it’s a pleasure to be robbed by you!

    Uncategorized

    beef, butcher

  • I Won’t Let My Winnings Change My Life

    May 11th 2011

    By: Blazing

    1 comment

    I win £22 on the Euromillions lottery. “Hooray” says Mrs Blazing. “Dinner out tomorrow then.”

    So tonight I drive home from work, take her to the local supermarket for some essentials like wine and chocolate. That’s the lotto winnings gone already! While I’m there I refuel the new Blazing motor. I haven’t seen the price of diesel for a month. Three quarters of a tank is all I get for fifty quid. Blimey.

    I suggest we head out into the country for a bit of grub, rather than partake of the carvery at the Grot. What am I thinking? Instead of a fiver a head for a couple of platefuls of roast meats and fresh vegetables I part company with forty quid for some upmarket fishcakes and a paella with a couple of chardonnays. I want my bumps felt. (Although I have to confess the paella is a bit good).

    She’s worth it bless her. Not been in the best of health for a wee while now.

    All the same I won’t tell her if I get three or four numbers in tonight’s draw though…

    Uncategorized

    chocolate, food, inflation

  • Mr Angry

    Apr 25th 2011

    By: Blazing

    1 comment

    Seething discontent,

    It’s all around.

    “We’re cutting too much too soon”

    “The price of fuel is too high”

    “You don’t watch that rubbish, do you?”

    “What are you talking about?”

    “Sack the manager, string up the board, sell the players”

    “What do you know?”

    “I speak for everybody and we have the right hump”

    “FACT!”

    Outside there is sunshine. A barbecue awaiting the strike of a match. Fresh meat. More than one bottle of good wine. A little light background music. The management, and a couple of good books. I think the ranters and the ravers of this here interweb can be left to it for now.

    They make me so MAD!

    Uncategorized

    Angry

  • Memories, Are So Beautiful And Yet…

    Apr 3rd 2011

    By: Blazing

    1 comment

    I prefer the Gladys Knight version to Barbara Streisand’s, but I digress.

    So much has changed since last I was able to spend some time on Blazing. You may have worked out that Dad of Blazing said his final goodbye in the early hours of new years day. To say that took the wind out of my sails is an understatement. Doubtless a post or two about him will follow. A visit back to North London yesterday served to jog some memories. Next weekend his ashes will join those of the Blazing Mum, and then we can get back to what passes for normality in these parts.

    I also fell out with my webhosting company. It seems even if you utilise within the spec you sign up for, if you are a popular blog they think they can fleece you for an extra wedge. Sorry boys, but you have lots of competition out in the big wide world. Bye. That has presented an entirely different problem as for some reason I cannot automatically recover my old posts into this new site. I am retrieving them manually, post by post, so bear with me. That may take a while.

    And on top of all this, the Grot has turned from a pub into a carvery. Now that is very good news if you fancy a plate full of delicious roast meats and fresh vegetables for a fiver or so. It is less good when you realise you will now have to get a lift to the nearest boozer that serves the delicious 2L ale that is my personal favourite.

    So my new full-time local in walking distance is the good old ‘dilly. The beer isn’t as good as that produced by the local brewers, but fortunately the gaffer keeps a mean pint of Guinness. The clientele are a typical bunch, and I will be introducing you to one or two of them in time. For now though I would just like to say thank you to those who have kept in touch. You are special people. It is much appreciated.

    Cheers.

    Uncategorized

    feck, Goodbye, Guinness

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