The Grot is one short for the Sunday morning debating society. He is in South Africa for the first group stage of the World Cup. We Skype him.

Apparently the trip has been superb, vuvuzelas apart! The locals have been very friendly, and all sorts of tours have been undertaken. Everybody wants to talk about the football, and quickly ‘Smudge’ learnt that Bafana Bafana was the South African team.

“So what do they call England then?”

The answer, it would appear, is Drol Drol. The tourists smile, pleased to have a new nickname. Everywhere the English go they ask “Beer for Drol Drol? Food for Drol Drol”.

On Friday the tour party were taken on a safari. What an experience. A bull elephant threatened the convoy, then had an almighty dump in the middle of the road and walked on. The boys are allowed out of the van to stretch their legs, and receive their instructions.

“Stay close to the van, and do not tread in the elephant’s drol drol.”