Tell me you didn’t miss this wonderful BBC story about the over fifties starting to misbehave on holidays abroad.

“Older British holidaymakers are causing the sort of trouble normally associated with the younger generation, the Foreign Office has said.”

So I eagerly read on in search of tales of geriatric gang-warfare, gang-banging, and kebab-spewing around the globe. Well you would, wouldn’t you?

I was to be disappointed, however. The Beeb have gone all Daily Sport on me.

‘The Foreign Office’ were apparently being represented by one Rania Kossiori, British vice-Consul in Rhodes. “After one too many drinks people can become abusive, for example shouting at resort staff.”

Well I hate to get in the way of a good story here, but I have to say I have seen lots of people get upset with resort staff all over the world. More often than not they have been sober because believe it or not, drunk people can become pretty tolerant of cockroaches, dodgy plumbing, broken glass around the pool, numerous mild variations of food-poisoning, and petty theft.

“We’ve also had instances where a few too many drinks has led older guests to over-estimate their strength, for example going swimming in bad weather conditions”. Well move over Club 18-30. Lager louts have been cast into the background by that most despicable group, the Sauvignon snorkelers.

Now I understand a serious point underlies these warnings, but really Beeb. I am being asked to cough up more and more to fund your operations which I use less and less, and one of the reasons for that can be found in this sensationalist piece of nonsense.

That’s another story though. Can’t wait for the day I get arrested on Kos for ‘aggressively sleeping off my lunch’ on the beach…