You have found the first mutterings of one who has a permanent pain in the hoop. Hence the title.

Gradually I’ll share with you what gets my goat. I’ll introduce you to some of those around me who don’t. Well not always. Sometimes they do, but I’m sure that will become clear too.

For now all I can grumble about is the weather. For days now the television weather forecasts have been full of tales of impending doom. Of course ever since 1987 whenever something more than a breeze has been on the horizon we have been briefed to expect the worst.

Not only were the hurricane denials then wrong. Every ‘impending’ storm since has failed to reach the predicted levels. Today the worst that happened around here is that the plastic bottle recycling bags, dutifully placed outside overnight for the weekly collection, all found themselves on the side of the main road on the eastern edge of the estate.

I am waiting for the dipstick from the borough council to call. When recycling was introduced just a few months back the local authority genuinely believed we would take the recycling box and bag to the main road. ‘Then we only actually have to come onto the estate every fortnight for your wheelie bins. Unless of course you…’

I kid you not. They genuinely expected the old, the infirm (yes, I’m both of those, if anyone asks!), well everybody to walk their rubbish distances from just a few to several hundred yards.

Now where was I? Oh yes, the weather, and the council, and recycling. Bugger me I’ve only just started!